I think this entry is a testimony to how shallow my faith can be sometimes. Even though I’ve been getting to meet and minister to an average of one new family per week over the past months, my world was rocked by a rumor about one of our families who may be looking for another church. I don’t even know if that’s a fact, but just the idea is enough to hit my heart like a dart of failure. I know that is a totally ridiculous response, but it is what it is.
Immediately, my mind switches into guilt mode. Was it something I said? Or something I did? Was it something I didn’t say? When did I last see them? Call them? Pray for them? No wonder they’re looking somewhere else. What kind of a pastor am I?
Then I quickly change channels to defense mode. After all I’ve done for them? Hour long drives to visit them in the hospital and rehab. Coming up with money to help them get through a tough time. Support, encouragement, prayers, whatever. What more could they want? What in the world is the matter with them?
After I get all that out of my system, then faith kicks in again. It might not have anything to do with me at all. It might be a part of their faith journey. People leave other churches to come to ours; some leave to go to others. And really, there’s just one church, right? We’re not in competition with each other. They may be the blessing that another church needs. And another church may be just what they need.
I will try to call them again, just to talk with them. I would really like to know more about the next step in their journey. Recently, all I get is an answering machine.